Peewee and Andy tie the knot...

Thrilla in Manila

In my first post I wrote about my reasons for wanting to do this trip. One thing that I didn’t mention was the real starting point for the discussions of this trip. What really got the conversations moving was the wedding of my great friend Andy Bauman in the Philippines. In its infancy this trip was going to be three weeks in the Philippines, which slowly turned into 3 months and then finally morphed into what we are doing which is six months of travel. So a big THANK YOU to Andy and Peewee for giving us our starting point.

Well onto Manila…I was really looking forward to Manila as I had spoken to so many people before going and they had all provided me with information on things to do and places to go. However, things didn’t really go according to plan while we were there as I spent pretty much the entire time sitting by the pool with everyone drinking San Mig or Tanduay. I can’t complain about it much as I was able to meet a lot of great people from around the world, which gives me more people and places to visit. On Thursday night two days before the wedding Andy and Peewee threw an Around the World Party for everyone who had come from outside the Philippines. I believe that this was the first time that Andy had friends from all parts of his life in the same place together. After the party the girls all went to the Hobbit House (yes it’s a bar where everyone is little) and the guys gave Andy a bachelor party. I will just leave it at Bachelor Party in Manila and you can believe it was whatever you want to believe it was.

The next day Mitra went up to Tagaytay for a day at the spa with Andy’s family. From what I’ve read Tagaytay is about an hour and half from Manila and according to Mitra it’s a beautiful volcano and lake. I think she got every spa treatment that was offered all for about $45 and came back raving about the place they went which is a bed and breakfast that she wanted to get me to go to for a night to stay. I have to admit she did bring back the brochure to try her sales pitch on me…”Baby it includes breakfast AND either lunch or dinner! Isn’t that a great deal?” All the while she was ignoring the fact that the place cost about $60 per person per day without the spa treatments so it was a little out of the price range. While Mitra was on her spa adventure I did happen to venture out a little that day and made it to the mall so that I could buy a Polo Barong, which is a traditional Filipino shirt to wear at weddings. It can be worn anytime really but it is a formal shirt that I needed to get for the wedding. This trip to the spa was a day trip and they left at 10am and were supposed to get back around 6pm. Everyone was making plans for dinner to go to the fish market and I had a tough decision looming…do I go to dinner with everyone or wait for Mitra to get back and go to dinner when she arrives. I pondered this for quite awhile and decided to wait for Mitra, which I think, was the best decision for my sanity.

Andy and Me Mitra,Summer,Mavis Kate and John

Finally, we are at the big wedding day! Now many of you know that I am not a fan of organized religion and was bracing myself to squirm…I mean sit through a Catholic Mass for the wedding ceremony. One thing that I knew I would not have to worry about was transportation as everything on that front was covered with vans picking us up at the hotel to take us to the church, to the reception and then back to the hotel. The only responsibility that came with it is we had to make sure we didn’t leave anywhere without our van mates. Relieving myself of all responsibility I passed this duty on to Mitra as I thought it would be a great thing for her since she would be the only one sober enough to remember who was in our van. Before I discuss the actual wedding I do have to mention that I have never been dressed as comfortably for a wedding as I was for Andy and Peewee’s. I was wearing the Polo Barong, linen pants and my flip-flops! There were strict orders not to wear shoes or high heels for the ladies. As for the actual wedding I was pretty zoned out and trying to take pictures so I could avoid hearing all the god talk. I did hear the exchanging of vows, which is what I was really there to hear. I have to admit though when the doors to the church opened and Peewee walked through she looking absolutely stunning and I could see how happy they both are together. I think Andy may have been crying a little bit.

The fun was really about to begin as we made it to the reception. All the westerners raided the bar and started double fisting drinks. I think that we may have scared all the Filipinos with the amount that we were drinking. Andy and Peewee were doing all the formalities of cutting the cake; first dance and Mitra mentioned that she was confused as to why they were doing this right away. There were two things that occurred that I had not seen at a wedding before and were both very cool. The first was a slide show with music that showed background on both Andy and Peewee and how they got to where they are today. I know that Andy teared watching the slideshow but this was nothing compared to what came after dinner. So dinner finishes and Mitra and I are talking to an American guy that we met at the wedding named Charlie who lives in Singapore and is friends with our friend Molly in NYC! Anyways, the music stops and we hear Peewee’s voice over the speakers. Thinking that she is talking we all start looking around for her and look up on the projection screen and see that there is a video playing. On the screen is a professional video set to music of the pre-wedding, wedding ceremony, cake cutting, first dance the whole day. Looking around everyone was in shock as it was completely amazing and like nothing I had ever seen before. Talking to people all you heard was didn’t that just happen? Overall, the wedding was an amazing time filled with many laughs, many new friends and great memories for everyone.

The only decent sunset in Manila

We had one recovery day in Manila which I definitely needed and then it was off to Palawan to see the Underground River and then go on our kayaking and camping trip. Off to the next adventure!

And of course a HUGE Congratulations to Peewee and Andy! We love you both and are so happy for you.

Brian

____________________________________________________

Mabuhay Manila

(And Long Life Peewee and Andy - Thanks for loving each other to get our butts out here!)

Song for this post:

Live Yo Life by Evil Empire & Trae Tha Truth

First thing we did in Manilla after arriving there ABCD (At the Butt Crack of Dawn) and checking into the Ascott Makati – long, LONG hot showers and naps. Brian had gone to work out and when I woke up I did the same. The gym looked out on the pool and as I sweated it out on the stair master (I had accidentally entered my weight in pounds but the damn machine was in kilos so it worked me like I was a linebacker climbing Everest. That non-American speaking stair master kicked my ass - I thought I was going to start my trip in traction! P.S. – before you head overseas, learn the metric system. Being that math isn’t my forte in the first place, this has always caused me problems on my travels to the point where I’ve felt obligated to eat 2 lbs. of cheese by myself in one sitting!) all of the wedding party began to congregate at the pool. Brian would point me out to a new arrival – I’d never met any of these people before – and they’d wave and smile and I’d wave and smile back, sweat pouring down me like Playboy Bunny at a Mensa conference, thinking “@#%$ *^%$$% ##@% ***k!!! Yeah, nice to see you too. Oh yeah, so glad you’re enjoying yourself at the pool. That’s wonderful, I’m so happy for you!”

So some of the mental uneasiness that had crept up on me in Banaue had followed me to Manila. I’ll admit I was a little apprehensive and overwhelmed with meeting so many new people all at once. Throughout my past year of trials and tribulations with my health and being so sick in a new place where I didn’t know too many people and not having the opportunity or ability to go out and really meet people, I was starting to discover that my confidence had been shot. Everything that I did in my daily life prior to moving to New York that made me feel good had become non-existent in the past year – I wasn’t writing, I wasn’t working out, I wasn’t really involved in my recovery program, I was barely in touch with my friends from back home and that being the case, I was feeling extremely insecure and not really confident that I had anything to offer anyone.

I only mention any of this because I don’t know if it’s just me, or just the alcoholic in me, or if it’s something that most people can relate to but I think – no, I know – I had this expectation that once I got on the plane, all the fear and doubt that had been building in me the past year (actually I think it has been building for way longer than that, this past year was just the first time I was still enough to really feel it) would magically melt away and be easily replaced with confidence, fearlessness, courage, passion for life, purpose. (Dear reader, if you haven’t guessed by now, I am on a frantic quest for these things on this trip, have always sought these things but have the highest of hopes that these things will click on this trip and finally fall into place. I am optimistic that I have all the pieces and that this trip will finally bring them all together.) But in short, my start in Manila was a bundle of clichés, the main one being, “Wherever you go, there you are!”

I finally made it out of the gym, my legs feeling like Jell-o walking on pudding and headed out to the pool where the introductions were formalized and had my cherished post-workout cigarette. About 15 of us hung out by the pool for a few hours, everyone (except me) drinking and almost everyone (mostly me) smoking like a supermodel at a smorgasbord. There really isn’t much to our time in Manila, this is pretty much how it went for the duration of the stay – party, party, party. There were a few stand-out moments however and this is what they were:

Thursday: Kate, Summer, Ann, and I headed out to Greenhills – a huge kind of indoor bazaar where I bought clothes I probably didn’t need, but were so cheap I couldn’t resist and Kate and Summer scored some sweet Prada and Louis Vitton knock-off purses that you would never know were “replicas” for about $20 each, thanks to Summer’s fierce haggling skills.

That night we all headed over to the People’s Palace restaurant in Greenbelt 3 for an Around the World party. It was a party thrown for all the people who had gathered from the corners of the earth to celebrate Andy and Peewee’s wedding (sorry Peewee – I misspelled your name in the first few posts!) Someone determined that the only continent not represented at the party or the wedding was South America. Yep – there was someone there from Antarctica! Just to give you an idea of the kind of people Andy and Peewee are (which I’ll get into a little bit more later) and how much they are loved. It was a wonderful party, but came to an end when the boys headed off for the bachelor party and the girls headed out for their own night on the town – sans Peewee who was understandably keeping a low profile with the big day coming up.

About 9 of us headed for the Hobbit House. Yeah – I said it, the Hobbit House. The name says it all – it’s a bar and restaurant somewhere in one of the more the unsavory parts of Manila that is staffed entirely with little people. When we arrived and got out of the cab, there was a table of little people sitting out front and the entrance looked like something straight out of the Shire. But when we got in, I have to say after the months of anticipation and Brian and I building it up in our minds of what it might be like, I was thoroughly kind of disappointed. Not only was it not midget tossing night, but the whole place was way less hobbitier than I had hoped. The staff wasn’t even dressed like Frodo or Samwise Gamgee and Gandalf was certainly not behind the full size bar mixing up Long Island Ice Teas or pouring beers! What a let down! The most amusing thing I saw was a Filipino midget wearing a bright green shirt that said “100% Irish”. And the only thing that was little – besides the staff – was the toilet. And what’s even worse is that the only picture us girls got with the staff was with us sitting behind a table and them standing next to us, but it just looks like they’re sitting down. I didn’t even get a Hobbit House t-shirt. But we had fun, just us girls, singing “Sweet Caroline” and talking till we closed that joint down at which point Summer swears she heard the staff start blasting “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”.

Friday: Peewee had arranged a spa day up in Tagaytay for any who were interested. I’m not sure where Tagaytay is in relation to Manila (get an Atlas, I’ve got a blog to write, I’m not superwoman, I can’t tell you every detail!) but it’s at least a 2 hour car ride there and wherever it is, it’s by a volcano and it is absolutely gorgeous!!! (The whole place, not just the volcano, though that was pretty spectacular as well…and even more beautiful in it’s not being active!) If I’d known better, (or was more of a planner) I would’ve pushed to stay there for a few nights. Peewee said that that’s where Manilans go for weekend getaways and I can see why! Our driver Albert took me, Kate (Andy’s sister), their parents, the Conways, and the Demerlys (both couples have been long time friends of the family) to Sonya’s Garden. This place was totally an Eden – beautiful and serene.

When we arrived there we weren’t exactly sure what the drill was so we went and had lunch. It was a fixed menu of delicious and all organic food that I think they grew right there. I sat at one end of the table with the guys and they just cracked me up the entire time. Then we headed off for our spa treatments – ladies first. We all got 1 hour full body massages and pedicures. Kate and I also got manicures and steam baths. And then I opted for a facial and what they called the Eye Wellness treatment. Basically what that was were these goggles of gyrating, pulsating, vibrating annoyance. (If it had lasted a minute longer, I would’ve gladly given up state secrets and missile launch codes!) I felt a little guilty that my extra treatments delayed our departure by about an hour and turned what should’ve been a 2 hour car ride into more like 4 due to the traffic we encountered on the way back into Manila. But at the same time I felt a bit entitled to treat myself in an effort to try to begin the process of pampering myself after a year of beating myself up and ignoring the wellbeing of my body. Plus, I was trying desperately to ease my mind that had been raging with angst and discomfort for the past few days, but to little avail since I so guilty for holding up the group and the car ride was so bumpy, cramped and long that it pretty much undid all of our massages. Oh well, tomorrow was another day.

Saturday (The Wedding): There’s not much to say about the wedding itself except that it was fabulous! The ceremony was held in a Catholic church per Peewees wishes (Andy is an avid Atheist, but took his vows in front of a priest, God, his and Peewee’s friends and family, and the Outback Steakhouse that was right next to the church to make his love happy.) The men were dressed in khakis and Barongs (traditional Philippine dress shirts) and the women all looked gorgeous in their “Island Formal” attire – though everyone was confused as to what constituted as “Island Formal”. After the ceremony and lots of pictures, we all got in our assigned cars and headed to the reception that was held out on the golf course at Peewee’s family’s magnificent country club. It was a blast, a true celebration and a great opportunity to really get to know everyone. Brian and I even met a guy, Charlie, who is presently living in Singapore but had lived in New York and was good friends with one of our good friends and Brian’s old roommate from when he first moved there, Molly. The world is a small place, isn’t it!

One of the many highlights of the wedding however, was the amazing wedding video that was shown to us only minutes after Peewee and Andy’s first dance that included all of the days’ events up through that dance! It was amazing – I can’t even describe it. Maybe someday it’ll be on YouTube and you can see it for yourself because I won’t be able to do it justice. But mostly what stood out about the wedding were the people, especially Andy and Peewee. All I have to say about Andy is this – here’s a guy who has given himself to the world, joining the Peace Corps after college and living overseas ever since working as and studying to be a marine biologist and in return, at least 50 (if not more, and there were even more who couldn’t make the trip out) people from every period of his life, from all corners of the Earth (except the South American who couldn’t make it) came together to be here for this wonderful occasion. And though we all came from different backgrounds, cultures, and countries, we all got along as if we were all old friends. The observation was made of Andy on this trip that it’s amazing how knowing Andy, you know you’ll hit it off and connect with anyone he knows. I think that says it all about what kind of terrific man Andy is – even if he gives lousy packing advice and probably wouldn’t shower if Peewee didn’t make him! Having the opportunity to meet and spend time with his family and friends was truly notable, given that they are all some of the most dynamic, generous, genuine, lively people I’ve met.

Now Peewee, in her own rights, is just as incredible and fantastic. Put simply, Peewee is magic. She is this tiny little thing (hence the name Peewee – I just wanna fold her up and put her in my pocket!) bounding with the energy, enthusiasm, curiosity, creativity and passion of a child. I mean that in the best way and with the highest regard and admiration possible. Most of us unfortunately lose that as we get older, become cynical and lose that luster for life and the world tells us that that is how it should be, that we shouldn’t dare to believe that the world grows newer and more spectacular, more beautiful, more wondrous with each passing day and too many of us live that to the core of ourselves – I know I do. We live life thinking that there are no surprises left, there’s no imagination left, there’s nothing left on the earth to awe us to the point where our passion spills onto and over everyone and everything around us. But it does happen, that kind of magnanimous exuberance is alive and welland there is no better example than Peewee. She’s the kind of girl who you can’t not love and when you leave her presence you feel nothing but joy and like everything really is going to be ok.

So my biggest impression about the wedding was simply this: that there are two people in this world for certain who are generating truly, madly, deeply, passionately this pulsating, alive, authentic, tangible love between themselves and all who know them. What I’m taking away from Manila, I’d like to say that it’s a little less self-doubt, but unfortunately for now I think I acquired more – not to mention my backpack is already getting full 10 days into the trip! Could I be that person? Could I take the best parts of Andy and Peewee that I admire so much and make them my own? Am I meant to? I crave that, all the magic and wonder I have seen in them, I long for that in myself, have always had a fiery desire to be that free and giving of myself, my love, to be able to put the best parts of myself out into the world without abandon, fear, inhibition, apology, or doubt. Only time will tell until then, I’m just living my life and waiting all too anxiously for it to unfold…

xoxoM